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My mother never met a stranger. She met many strange people but talked to them any way (I’ve learned those often make for the best conversations). 

As a child, I didn’t appreciate it as I should have.  Of course, that is true about many things. My mom came from a broken home and spent much of her childhood bouncing between the homes of her older siblings.  I didn’t appreciate that either.  Her faith background was a “Baskin Robbins 31 Flavor” mix of this and that.  As I’ve grown older, I’ve grown to appreciate that more.

Though my mom died in 1995, her influence in my life is ever-present.  My gift of gab, also known as preaching, came from her.  Her values, her zest for life, her loyalty to people … These have stayed with me.  Our family even has two cats today (thanks, mom).

To be honest, not all Mother’s Days since 1995 have been easy.  Both of our daughters were born after mom’s death; many times I have lamented that Hannah and Hope never knew my mom and got to experience her influence first-hand.  They never had the opportunity to spend time in the kitchen with her or to see her greet a stranger. I’m sure if we had been at her house in the spring, they would have planted flowers with her.

There’s a good chance, if she were still alive, they might even like bluegrass music.

But I know they do experience her influence – through me, through my values, my stories. I need to tell more stories.

The hope of the Christian faith is that this life is not all there this.  We believe in resurrection.  We believe in heaven, that great eternal reunion when all God’s children – mom, dad, Hannah and Hope – will meet for the first time. What a great day that will be.

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Thomas Edison once said that “vision without execution is hallucination.”  He should have known.  Edison was famous for his relentless pursuit of what worked — in light bulbs, moving pictures, and more.

When it came to the light bulb, it’s probably fair to say he failed more times than he succeeded.  Not all execution is an immediate success; in fact, sometimes our actions result in setbacks or shed further light on what doesn’t work.  But execution requires action.

How many decent athletes play pick-up basketball?  Thousands?  Hundreds of thousands?  More than a few of them probably fancied themselves a good player — maybe even had the raw abilities to be a good player.  They had visions of greatness but lacked one thing: execution.  Those who rise from the ranks of playground ball to their high school team, on to college, or possibly the pro’s have learned that success (accomplishing the vision) takes work.

How many good ideas never get turned into a business?

How many novels remain in the head of a would-be writer?

How many idyllic family vacations never get planned?

We cannot live without vision.  That is true in our personal lives as well as our professional lives.  Churches, teams, organizations, and businesses all need vision to keep the fires burning.  But without execution the vision becomes a hallucination.

Pray for God to give you a burning vision of what might be … and then get busy working towards making it a reality!

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“Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own” (Philippians 3:12, ESV).

Anyone half-familiar with the Apostle Paul would agree that he was a driven man.  No one suffers the types of abuses Paul suffered unless he really, truly believes in what he is doing.  Having rocks thrown at you, being imprisoned, getting shipwrecked — these are not for the faint of heart.

But what motivated Paul to keep going?  Did you catch the reason in the verse above?

“… but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own.”

We humans are motivated by many different things: fear, pride, guilt, success, ambition, legacy, image, parental expectations, peer pressure, applause, money, rewards.

For Paul, the motivation to continue on came from a deeper, more lasting place.  It wasn’t based on external feelings or momentary rewards.  For Paul, the motivation was that Jesus had taken ownership of his life.  But don’t think of this as a hostile takeover.  Instead, it is the loving act of a loving God who is reclaiming one of his own.  It is the shepherd who pursues his lost sheep.  It is the father who runs to the prodigal son, eager to reinstate his place in the family.

I didn’t pass a test that allowed me entrance into the family of God.  Neither did you.  Instead, God acted through the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus to make those who would believe in Jesus his own.

Now, that should motivate anyone!

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Garage sales and Goodwills fascinate me.  In their own unique way, they provide a snapshot into the lives of total strangers.  More than once I have found myself wondering, “What in the world was that person thinking when they bought THAT!”

If ever I wanted to outfit my house in a retro-vintage-cheap-plastic-tacky-weird-odd-infomercial kind of way, garage sales and Goodwill would be the places to go.

But, as I’m often reminded while strolling the aisles of Goodwill, “one man’s trash is another man’s treasure.”

Nowhere in Scripture is that more apparent than in Philippians 3:8-9 when the Apostle Paul describes the rearranging of his priorities:

“Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which comes through faith in Christ, the righteousness from God that depends on faith” (Philippians 3:8-9).

Only Paul wouldn’t refer to his trash as his treasure; in fact, it would be the other way around.  He refers to his previous treasures (his heritage, pedigree, education) as trash.

In the person of Jesus Paul had found something more important than pedigree — he had found the life-changing power, goodness, and grace of God.  In that moment, the shiny things of life lost their luster.  What he had spent years pursuing became unimportant.  Gaining Christ was all that mattered.

Reading this passage today made me wonder: What rubbish do I like to keep around?

When it comes to real garbage (stinky bananas, etc), most of us have a clear tolerance level … our nose knows when enough is enough and it’s time to throw out the trash.

But what about emotional or intellectual rubbish?  What about the job titles we pursue?  What about the drive to drive certain kinds of cars?  What about the rubbish that never gets exposed but gets carried with us throughout the day?

Perhaps the better question is this: Is Christ enough?  The hymn writer offered this challenge: “Take the world but give me Jesus.”

Can we say the same?

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In John 5, Jesus encounters a man who had been an invalid for thirty-eight years.  For thirty-eight years this man had lived with his handicap, watching other people go about their business.  Jesus meets him at the pool of Bethesda, a pool where disabled people would gather in hopes of being cured by being the first one to enter the water each day.  Each day he would arrive; each day he would be disappointed.

Jesus asks him what seems to be a rather odd question: “Do you want to get well?” (John 5:6).

The answer should be obvious.  Of course he wants to get well.  That’s why he finds his way to the pool every day.  Who would want to stay an invalid if they had the chance of being healed?

But is the answer obvious?

I’m not so sure.  Over the years, I have met people who have not only become comfortable with their infirmities, they have grown to like them.  Their infirmities have become their identity.  To become whole again would be to lose their sense of self, their sense of who they are.

Perhaps they enjoy playing the victim or having people take pity on them.  Perhaps they live by the idea that some attention is better than no attention.  Or, even worse, maybe they don’t even realize they are doing it.

Even still, Jesus asks us the same question: “Do you want to get well?”

How would you answer him?  Do you really want to get better?  Do you really want to find peace or overcome a habit or gain victory over an attitude?

Sadly, many people are content to limp along when God wants to enable them to run.  He wants to set them free and yet they choose to be chained to the past or to a destructive pattern.

“Do you want to get well?”

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Effective preaching and teaching is about more than transmitting information; it’s also about inspiration.

In the world of SEO (search engine optimization), the mantra is “content is king.”  In other words, search engines love fresh content — an indication that a site is alive and worth indexing.  A static site that never changes probably isn’t drawing much traffic.

In preaching and teaching, content certainly matters.  Truth matters.  God’s Word never changes.  But how the truth is delivered matters, too.

Passion breeds passion.  If I’m not passionate about delivering my topic, why should the audience be passionate about applying it?  A passionate communicator will lead the audience to be passionate as well.

But don’t be misled.  Passion isn’t all about delivery, though passion should seep through the manner in which we communicate.  Passion is also conveyed by our energy level and the excitement that is heard in our voice and seen in our eyes.  A well-prepared talk or sermon conveys passion.

If you want your audience to be motivated to listen and engage, then become passionate about your topic.  In order for them to care about what they’re hearing, you must first care about what you are saying.

Passion breeds passion.

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If you interact with people at any level, there will be times that you will be misunderstood, misrepresented, and even maligned.  Believe it or not, people will not always say nice things about you.  Most likely, this revelation is not a surprise to you.

As a younger man, I didn’t always respond in the best fashion.  It was easy to give in the temptation to join the other person in the gutter.  That’s often what they want you to do.  But, as I remember my mom telling me, “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”

So, what to do?

Take the high road.

Taking the high road means you won’t wade into the sludge, slinging mud around.  Taking the high road means that you won’t shred the other person with the truth.  Taking the high road means you won’t feel the need to defend every misrepresentation or outright lie.  Taking the high road means following the command of Peter:

“Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.” — 1 Peter 3:9

Returning insult with insult is a no-win proposition.  It creates a downward spiral.  In the end, it simply does not honor Jesus.

This is why the Proverb writer offered this counsel: “Do not answer a fool according to his folly, or you yourself will be just like him” (Proverbs 26:4).

Answering a foolish charge may make you feel better, but it may not elevate Jesus.  Answering a fool using foolish logic will make you a fool as well.

Taking the high road isn’t easy.  It is necessary.

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I was joking around with my youngest daughter earlier this week.  OK, I thought I was joking around; she probably just thought I was being annoying.  Two people looking at the same situation and seeing two different things …

Anyhow, at one point, she said to me, “You need to see a philanthropist.”

Before I started laughing, I readily agreed with her.  ”Yes, I do need to see a philanthropist.”

She then realized she had said the wrong word and tried to keep from laughing.  It didn’t work.

“I mean to say, ‘You need to see a therapist.’”

“I probably need to see one of those, too.  After I see the philanthropist.”

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Enjoy this post from Henry Cloud.  It helps you discern situations, relationships, and much more.

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What habits, thoughts and actions must you put an end to, in order to achieve your goals in 2013? Here are some thoughts from Necessary Endings to help you answer this important question:

1. Determine whether a “season” has passed.

Everything has a season. Remember CDs, cassettes, and phone books? They had their place and time, but their season has passed. And the truth is, no matter how wisely we invest in a product, strategy, person or even some relationships, eventually, the season for our investments come to an end. Endings are a natural part of the cycle of growth.

I remember one support group I was in for several years that was life changing. But, years later, I was not in the same place, nor were they, and we all needed something different. It was time to initiate a necessary ending. Once I did, I was able to find new support systems to help me achieve new goals.

Similarly, in business, someone who is right for a certain position when they’re hired may no longer fit the changing needs of the company as it grows. Or perhaps a strategy was implemented years ago that put your company on the map, but no longer works due to new market conditions or other factors. These are two examples of how necessary some endings really are, in order for a company to thrive.

It’s important to remember that this does not mean that the person, idea, or strategy was “bad.” It simply means that the time for that phase in your business or personal life has come to an end, so that new ideas and directions can take root. Even good things run out their life cycles, and to everything, there is a season. Take some time to figure out whether what you’re doing belongs to a season that has passed.

2. Determine whether “pruning” is necessary for growth.

In order for a rose bush to achieve its full growth potential, every good gardener knows that it must be carefully pruned. There are three circumstances in which a gardener prunes a rose bush: 1) when the bush produces more buds than it can sustain, 2) in order to remove parts of the bush that are diseased, and 3) to remove dead branches in order to make way for new growth.

First, when the bush produces more buds than it can sustain, the overgrowth drains essential resources from the bush, and the gardener must choose which of the “good” buds are “best.” He then prunes the good buds so that all of the bush’s resources can be focused on helping the best buds thrive.

Our lives and businesses are just like the rose bush. We may have a lot of really good strategies, products, activities, relationships, or ideas that we’ve poured our resources into. But if we pruned some of the good stuff back, we would enable the best parts to get all that they need to thrive, making our businesses and relationships even more productive and happier.

Second, when parts of the rose bush are diseased, and every effort to nurse them back to health has failed, a gardener must prune the diseased parts to prevent them from spreading. Similarly, in business, when all of the coaching, mentoring and training you’ve offered cannot make some employees more productive, or a strategy you’ve worked on isn’t producing the results you’d hoped for, it’s time to get out the pruning shears. Whether products or people, there are some elements of our business and personal lives that cannot be helped, and letting them go – whether temporarily or permanently – is essential to your survival.

Third, many branches are already dead, and taking up space that living branches need in order to grow. Similarly, there are many aspects of business that have run their course and can no longer contribute to the company’s success. Those parts of the business must be shut down so that the rest of it can thrive. And in our personal lives, there are many activities and people that aren’t conducive to our health or growth, and must be lovingly pruned.

To recap, make decisions about what to prune by asking the following questions:
a) What is “good but not best?”
b) What is “sick and can’t get well?” and
c) What is “long since dead?”

3. Figure out the difference between “hoping” and “wishing.”

We all hold out hope for many things in life. In my career as a clinical psychologist and leadership coach, I often hear the following:

“I hope the business grows in 2013.”
“I hope he finally gets sober this time.”
“I hope she turns her performance around.”
“I hope this strategy takes off.”

Hope is one of the greatest virtues in life. However, it can also serve as an impediment to success if we don’t have a real, objective reason for our hope. Hope without reason is only a desire or wish; not a hope you can expect to materialize.

It’s important to ask yourself why you have hope for something to happen. If you’re hoping for growth in your business next year, are you expecting new markets to open for your product? Hiring talented new sales people? Planning exciting new product launches? If you answered “yes” to questions like these, then you have good reason to hope for a turnaround in 2013. But, if your answer is “no,” then your hope may be just a desire or wish. And putting off a “necessary ending” because you are wishing for something to change only delays the onset of reality.

Similarly, if you have personal goals, like weight loss, ask yourself whether you have a legitimate reason to hope for such change in the New Year. Are you joining a program? Revamping your eating habits? Hiring a personal trainer? Or, are you continuing to do the same things you did in 2012, but “hoping” to have a different result in the New Year?

In Necessary Endings, I devote an entire chapter to distinguishing between hopes and wishes, and to helping you figure out what’s worth fixing and what needs to end. Here are some questions you can ask yourself to help make this distinction:

1. Is there some sort of involvement in a proven change process? Real change requires implementation of new and proven strategies. If you’re trying to lose weight, kick a habit, or kick start your business, find out what processes need to be implemented to help you achieve your goals.

2. Is there a “time and place” structure to the change process? Goals cannot be achieved if you’re only working on them “when you have time.” Time and place commitments must be made in order to effect real change. Whether your goal for 2013 is running a 5k or getting on the Fortune 500 list, set and adhere to a time and a place structure that organizes your life around achieving your goals.

3. Are you seeking new wisdom? New information, knowledge, and principles are required to learn and grow. Doing things the way you’ve always done them won’t get you where you need to be in the New Year.

4. Are you learning new skills? New skills, abilities, and capacities are essential to real change. As a business leader looking to improve performance, are you putting your management team through leadership development programs? As a spouse trying to improve your marriage, are you seeking new knowledge to help you communicate with your significant other more lovingly?

5. Is there self-sustaining motivation? For real change to occur, a person must have a self-motivated desire to change, as opposed to being constantly pushed to change by others. That does not mean that they are not getting help and encouragement from others. It does mean that the motivation to change must come from within.

6. Is there an honest admission of need? Anyone seeking change must make an honest assessment and admission of their need to change. If they don’t see that they have a problem, or need help overcoming it, then it will be difficult for them to achieve their goals.

7. Is there an external source of support and energy? Support systems, groups, or individuals that provide external energy are essential to an individual’s efforts to achieve real, lasting change. Who are you drawing inspiration and support from in order to help you realize your goals?

8. Is any noticeable movement or change occurring? The process of change is always visible over time. This does not mean that things will constantly appear to improve; in fact, circumstances often get worse before they get better. However, noticeable movement in some direction always occurs if change is on the horizon.

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Dr. Cloud is a clinical psychologist, leadership consultant, best-selling author, and speaker whose books have sold over 7 million copies. Drawing upon his broad range of
experiences in private practice, leadership consulting, and media, he simplifies life’s issues and gives easy to understand, practical advice. It’s Dr. Cloud’s humor, compassion and “in the moment” confrontation that make his approach to psychology, business and spirituality such a success.

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“I have no one else like him, who will show genuine concern for your welfare.” — Philippians 2:20

There was a time I thought about going into politics.  But then I realized how often I would have to shower to try and keep the corruption at bay.

I believe good people do go into politics.  I also believe it’s hard for good people to go into politics and stay good people.  Most people enter public service with a desire to serve.  After a while, the temptation to serve one’s own interests over the interests of others begins to arise.  At some point, it becomes more than a temptation; it becomes a way of life.

But let’s not be so hard on politicians.  The same thing happens to school teachers, accountants, counselors, construction workers, and pastors.

What causes this?  Our sinful nature.

Our sinful nature is not inclined towards sacrifice and service.  Rather than putting the needs of others first, our sinful nature is bound and determined to get our way … first and foremost, our sinful nature is selfish.

This reality is what makes Paul’s commendation of Timothy so outstanding: Here is someone who actually takes a genuine interest in the welfare of others.  Not pretending to take an interest.  Not manipulating someone’s feelings for personal gain.  A genuine concern for the needs of someone else.

Our challenge is to be more like Timothy and less like our sinful nature.

How can you start?

1. Ask God to give you a genuine concern for the welfare of others.  Feeling this way is not natural; it requires a supernatural act of God.
2. Learn to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.  This is called empathy.
3. Seek out friends who model this kind of behavior.  Why?  Because it is contagious.
4. Do something nice for someone who doesn’t deserve it or expect it.  Just do it.

Other ideas?

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